When I Loved You

I have tried to convince myself for so many years
That I didn't love you at all.

The words would flow through my mind over and over again:
"You didn't really love him."
"If you loved him, then what does that say about love?"

But it's true.
I loved you.

I have to respect who I was at 17 enough to admit it.
I loved you.

Maybe I shouldn't have.
Maybe you weren't worth it
Maybe you did break my heart.

But I did love you.

It's true you left me first.
It's true you didn't love me.
But I knew it the first time I saw you smile,
waiting for me outside of that grand marble building on campus.

That smile, and no one else's since, made me feel
Like there was no one in the world but the two of us.

And so, I loved you.

And I've waited to feel that again,
All these years passing without loving someone else.

I tried.
I really did.
I told another boy that I loved him.
But I didn't.

And I don't love you anymore,
But I did.

And for now, that's enough.