Tuesday, November 28, 2006



rock in your chest, look at him and you know.

your chest burns when you think that he might break up with you.

you can't sleep, because you're so anxious to see him again.

a smile lights up your face when he walks in the room.

his eyes sparkle as soon as he sees you.

You look at him and automatically think, "I love you."


Wednesday, November 08, 2006

When Trust Begins

She stopped looking today. Well, she took one last look, one last search to make her heart ache.

She saw listings on singles sites. Well, on the single site where they met. She found nothing she didn't know already.

She didn't log-in to the site to check up on him, because that would be too much. The answer she would expect to receive - the inexplicable answer that he's still active on the site - would probably break her heart into a thousand little pieces. So, she didn't ask the question. Didn't have to get the answer.

Instead, today, she did one last search, typed his name in one last time, saw that he exists in the world as a real human being with a real history, a real name, a real life. She spied on him one final time.

And decided to trust him.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


If I break down
Will you be there?
If you go away
Can I follow?

If I say something you don't like
Will you listen to the reason?

If you say something I don't understand
Will you patiently explain it?

If I break down
Will you carry me?
If you crumble
Can I put you back together?

If I trust you
Will you love me?
If I love you
Will you let me?

If I hate you
Will you calm me?
If I scare you
Will you tell me?

If I break down
Will you wait for me to come around again?
If you run
Will I find you?

If you love me
Will you keep me?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Maybe That's Just the Game

...or maybe I'm just falling for the guy.

When jealousy rears its ugly head, I have to give myself pause, some time to consider why I might be feeling so particularly...uhm...territorial.

I've never liked it if some woman was hitting on "my" man, and I've never liked it if "my" man was checking another woman.

At the same time, getting all riled up, because we're not "exclusive" and it appears he's still browsing the Internet makes me realize that I WANT to be exclusive.

Online dating, Google and the Internet age in general give us so many more ways to be paranoid.

I saw him again last night. It felt so...like we were in a relationship. I've decided I'm not going to look for his profile anymore.

Remember: If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question. I don't want to know if he's still looking, and that's the only answer I need.