I find it fascinating how we can get so caught up in a moment, that we can entirely lose sight of everything else that matters. In convincing myself that I need to be "present" when I am with him, rather than thinking about some far off future, I neglect to be present in other areas of my life.
In the past, I forgot what it meant to be involved in a day-to-day relationship with a man. I really thought it was me who forced the marriage talk, and I made a deal with myself not to bring it up for a couple of days. I quickly realized that it had never been me who was caught up in the possibility of a future together. I stopped completely, and this man couldn't even begin to think about not talking about it. So, I realized how important it is for both people in the relationship to be in the present.
So, check that off my list. I'm in the present with him. I'm so far in the present that I can hardly bring myself to ask a question about tomorrow, let alone next month, next year, the rest of our lives.
And that's okay.
The ability to see into the future together will come in time. Now, I really do want to experience whatever I can. The future will take care of itself.