Tuesday, July 18, 2006

A Final Bit of Pondering

I give into the stress and decide to talk to my mom about the next steps in my career. I give into the loneliness and decide to call the man of my dreams just one more time. One time is all I’ll allow myself before I officially cross the line into crazy girl. If this can become a relationship, then one of the big questions will answer itself. I won’t move if I’m in a happy relationship. I won’t mess with success by moving to a brand-new state and setting up shop.

I know inside that this one phone call is simply a way to delay my decisions, to delay the possibility that I may not have a shot at a happy life with this man.

But delay is the solution right now, and delay is right at home in my fantasy world.

I pick up the phone and dial his number.

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