There are times, she thinks, when living in her head can be dangerous. In her mind, she can marry herself off to someone she's seen only once, perhaps that cute checker at the bookstore who commented on her purchases and gave her a crooked smile, or maybe its the handsome man in the Nissan X-Terra she passes every day on the way to work. Surely, she is meant for these men, these men are meant for her.
In her mind, she can do more damage than good, though.
These imaginary relationships with essentially imaginary men do little to harm her psyche. In fact, they do nothing at all but encourage her to consider the possibility of marrying someone, someday.
It's the real relationships that suffer when she's left alone too long with her thoughts.
Left to her own ponderings, she can find herself deciding that her boyfriend is clearly having an affair with the random chick with the swingy ponytail who started talking to him at a party. Her suspicious mind comes to believe that his friend Laura (how sick she is of the name Laura) is in love with him, even if he's not in love with her.
She shouldn't be left alone too long.
Left on her own for even one evening, she believes that he's keeping things from her, that he's hiding his life and not being honest.
As soon as he returns, though, everything is better. As soon as she sees him, as soon as she looks him in the eyes, she knows he's true, she knows he's the only one for her.
And so, he takes her out of her own mind and into the world to live with him.
She hopes that soon, even when she's left alone, her mind will stay on him, on the truth of him.
what'll she look like when she opens her eyes and sees what she wants to see
instead of this cold mirror's lies and all the pieces complete
she says with a sigh "i think i'm ready..."
what'll she sound like when she opens her mouth
and all the phrases sound right as they fall out
and she says "yes"
and she's not scared of the sound
she says she's ready
(Stephen Speaks)
Saturday, December 09, 2006
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