Wednesday, December 27, 2006


John Legend says that love hurts if you do it right. Well, she thinks, she must be doing it to perfection, because her heart is so heavy that it wouldn't surprise her at all if it fell out of her chest and dropped through the layers of the earth.

And, in some ways, it would be a relief to have that rock out of her chest on a permanent basis.

But then, on the other, and wiser, hand, the pain feels good. It reminds her that she's alive. While she's anxious for answers, anxious for the return of the man she loves, anxious for the pain to go away, she's also grateful for the pain. This pain makes her realize that she feels something real for this man.

Other men have gone away. When they went away, she forgot about them almost completely, almost to the point where she needed to ask their names again when they returned, "And you are? And you're here because....?"

But not this one.

No, while this one is gone, she dreams about him at night, not happy dreams of love but anxious dreams where he replaces her with someone else, where he is more loved by her friends than she...where he replaces her in her own life.

She's not sure what the dreams mean, but she knows that he needs to get back to her as quickly as possible.

She is the girl, remember, who when left to her own devices too long can imagine an entire life gone wrong...

And she won't believe him when she tells her she's imagining things.

He ought to hurry home.

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